This one statement is something I am not used to saying. Not when my work goes the way I have planned. Not when everything is in disarray. It’s been a good day. Usually I flop into bed and without a second thought as to the fact I am alive and to give thanks to my maker I am out like a light. On other occasions, I think about the to-do list that I didn’t entirely complete and get super depressed as to my luck of “accomplishment”. Doesn’t matter that I finished that overdue report or finished programming a module, it’s still the much I haven’t done.
What does this do to me? Does it mean I am horrible when it comes to planning? I know I take a lot up whether its friends giving birth, others getting married, family, boyfriend, work, life group/bible study and not forgetting my own school work but why do I always beat myself up?
It took something as simple as someone telling me they are proud of me and the lessons I am learning and the effort I am putting in the situation I am in(1 week close to finally finishing my long overdue project and I haven’t cracked yet). Wow.... It’s not such a bad day. I am not the same person I was back one week ago, one month, one year and one decade ago. I am growing and learning and above all I am enjoying the circumstances I find myself in (thick as they may be). I may not achieve everything but it’s been good the much I have achieved today.
After so long I finally understand the words in the bible:
Matthew 6:33-34 (NIV) "33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Day time comes and we have to give our all and seek God’s will in our day to day lives. Not getting tossed up and about and all you can say at the end of the day is I wish this day was over, allowing your own self discouragement to get the best of you. However you can lay your head down, find that one little thing you did right; I combed my hair right, I got the steps to the routine, I finished that report. Give thanks to God. For all that is still pending, surrender it unto the Lord to help you achieve it when you’ll get a chance/ make time to do so. Above all, keep the joy and positivity; you have a whole life to live. Laugh when you can, cry when you need to but hope in the end or amidst it you’ll pause, reflect and be able to say, it’s been a good day.
Have a good weekend won’t you...
Friday, April 1, 2011
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Tick-tock
Yesterday, as I was walking home from work, I was full of high spirits and delight due to the long holiday ahead as a result of Jahmuri day. I felt my body relax and as every person my age plans for a grand weekend with friends out of town, I was grateful to just be able to sit still, breathe and have a day of the weekend indoors. “How did I get caught up in this crazy life cycle of waking up daily to go to work, earn an extra buck just to spend it; living hand to mouth; the rat race? I’m I even doing what I should be?” As this train of thought took control over my mind I began to reflect on how the year has been. Wow, we are almost halfway through the last month of the year 2010 and lo and behold my birthday is 6 days away.
Wait, my birthday!!! How old I’m I turning? 26? 27? Panic... I had to calculate with my fingers and for sure 27 is lurking in the shadows, waiting to embrace me in a less than a week’s time. Why this particular number held such significance to me I don’t know, it is not my favourite number, band etc. But I realised it holds the age where for me I was to have fully out-lived myself and now start settling down in a grand home, being a wife, almost a mother, ahead on my career, investing left, right and centre and serving in my home church. The quiet life... Panic! Have I even scratched the surface of the life I wanted to live before that?
Recently I followed 16 candidates in the Apprentice season 10 and was astounded as I always am when I watch these programmes. People are gutsy and have a list of accolades to their names. Closer to home I have my own friends and family who give me goose bumps at the idea of being in the same room as them. They have excelled in more than just academics and workplace but also in their personal lives. I start to wonder whether I slug a lot in my day to day life. Where have the years gone and what do I have to show for it?
Nevertheless, I am pleased that I managed to go back to school with the hopes of clearing my undergrad, I am in good health, still got a job to go to everyday, amazing family and friends, a great love and the assurance of a loving Father.
Hence as I knock on my 27th year, I have one wish: That the Lord Teach me to number my days that I may apply my heart unto wisdom. That He grants me wisdom to know areas to venture in and the strength and confidence to go ahead and conquer them. Here’s to hoping at the end of 2011, God willing, this 5’ 4’’ lady will rise above and exceed the norm; Living life with love, grace, passion & excellence.
Merry Christmas & Happy New year 2011.
Wait, my birthday!!! How old I’m I turning? 26? 27? Panic... I had to calculate with my fingers and for sure 27 is lurking in the shadows, waiting to embrace me in a less than a week’s time. Why this particular number held such significance to me I don’t know, it is not my favourite number, band etc. But I realised it holds the age where for me I was to have fully out-lived myself and now start settling down in a grand home, being a wife, almost a mother, ahead on my career, investing left, right and centre and serving in my home church. The quiet life... Panic! Have I even scratched the surface of the life I wanted to live before that?
Recently I followed 16 candidates in the Apprentice season 10 and was astounded as I always am when I watch these programmes. People are gutsy and have a list of accolades to their names. Closer to home I have my own friends and family who give me goose bumps at the idea of being in the same room as them. They have excelled in more than just academics and workplace but also in their personal lives. I start to wonder whether I slug a lot in my day to day life. Where have the years gone and what do I have to show for it?
Nevertheless, I am pleased that I managed to go back to school with the hopes of clearing my undergrad, I am in good health, still got a job to go to everyday, amazing family and friends, a great love and the assurance of a loving Father.
Hence as I knock on my 27th year, I have one wish: That the Lord Teach me to number my days that I may apply my heart unto wisdom. That He grants me wisdom to know areas to venture in and the strength and confidence to go ahead and conquer them. Here’s to hoping at the end of 2011, God willing, this 5’ 4’’ lady will rise above and exceed the norm; Living life with love, grace, passion & excellence.
Merry Christmas & Happy New year 2011.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Actions of love
I was going through life yesterday as usual; go to church and chill out on a random Sunday. Then I got a communication from a friend of mine who was disappointed in me because I had not reached out to assist or show solidarity with a situation they were going through. Yet in my heart of hearts I felt I was doing what was right; to give them space to sort out whatever it is they were going through. I didn’t even ask whether they needed my help.
In my heightened anger cum frustration at being misunderstood I went to see them. On my way to their home, I had a rehearsed speech of what I’d say to them. Before I could knock at their door, I said a little prayer and asked God “Now I am here. What should I do?” I took a moment and decided I would shut up. Say nothing. Be there until they felt like saying or doing something. Nevertheless, it was wise I kept my fury to myself and my mouth shut lest I say stuff I didn't mean then and hurt the people I so claim to love... the good book does say “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:26-27(NIV)
But anger wasn’t the point of this post. As technology has grown we have grown with it and our forms of communication have also changed. There are the mobile phones, social networking sites, Instant Messaging etcetera. This can easily be confused as the primary mode of communication or a channel of showing your care for people. Yet most people won’t remember that so and so called them when they needed help with taking care of a sick one but that they showed up and helped clean the dishes or house or just avail their presence in case the other party needed to offload.
At the end of the evening I had been humbled and in a world where people won’t ask of help lest they are disappointed, I grew a notch in my sensitivity and relations with people. Inquire of them if they need me to do anything for them or just go out of my way to do so, share my time and resources… It will be my way of showing love! Love in action.
1 John 3:16-24(NKJV) “By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.”
John 13:34-35 (NKJV) “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
In my heightened anger cum frustration at being misunderstood I went to see them. On my way to their home, I had a rehearsed speech of what I’d say to them. Before I could knock at their door, I said a little prayer and asked God “Now I am here. What should I do?” I took a moment and decided I would shut up. Say nothing. Be there until they felt like saying or doing something. Nevertheless, it was wise I kept my fury to myself and my mouth shut lest I say stuff I didn't mean then and hurt the people I so claim to love... the good book does say “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:26-27(NIV)
But anger wasn’t the point of this post. As technology has grown we have grown with it and our forms of communication have also changed. There are the mobile phones, social networking sites, Instant Messaging etcetera. This can easily be confused as the primary mode of communication or a channel of showing your care for people. Yet most people won’t remember that so and so called them when they needed help with taking care of a sick one but that they showed up and helped clean the dishes or house or just avail their presence in case the other party needed to offload.
At the end of the evening I had been humbled and in a world where people won’t ask of help lest they are disappointed, I grew a notch in my sensitivity and relations with people. Inquire of them if they need me to do anything for them or just go out of my way to do so, share my time and resources… It will be my way of showing love! Love in action.
1 John 3:16-24(NKJV) “By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.”
John 13:34-35 (NKJV) “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Life through Samara’s eyes.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Past. Present. Future!
Recently I had a mini meltdown. We all have some of those occasionally. I had some unfinished business,a part of my life I left 4 years ago and I had to go back and deal with it. It still in the process but honestly speaking I feel it is something I should have finished then. However I didn’t believe I had capacity to go through and complete it in a perfect/timely fashion; So much for timely.
This has left me feeling like I am living 3 lives. Struggling to complete stuff I should have done 4 years ago, struggling with the present life as it is and the other life where you leave like all is well and dandy in the world and that your dreams and hopes are coming together... Ha. The dreamer and classic life that everyone wants to believe I am living.
I got tired and frustrated trying to bring the 3 lives together so that the honest picture is what is shown on the ground. Bottom line is I lost 4 years and I have to back and complete it. I do feel my peers are way ahead of me but I shan’t bother anymore keeping up with the joneses. All the promises of God in Him are yea, and in Him Amen. Therefore when your life is under or flourishing, His word still stands.
2 portions of scripture stood out for me:
Joel 2:23-26 "Be glad then, ye children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God: for he hath given you the former rain moderately, and he will cause to come down for you the rain, the former rain, and the latter rain in the first month. And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the fats shall overflow with wine and oil. And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed. And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed."
Gen 8:22 "While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and Winter, and day and night shall not cease."
The 1st one really gave me hope. That God is able to do anything and everything He says He’ll do. His promises to us shall come to pass & that He has capacity to do the impossible. Restore to you that which you lost if you are to repent and turn back to Him and seek Him.
As for the 2nd verse it’s His assurance and a covenant with creation, us, that as long as the earth is, we will have all seasons. We are to plant and expect a harvest.
So that said, I pray that those who are in the same situation may find comfort in the Lord’s word and as faith allows do what is expected of you.
I am planting, trusting God to grow and give me a harvest of what I will have cultivated and as He wills restore to me, the years I have lost. Amen!
Life through Samara’s eyes.
This has left me feeling like I am living 3 lives. Struggling to complete stuff I should have done 4 years ago, struggling with the present life as it is and the other life where you leave like all is well and dandy in the world and that your dreams and hopes are coming together... Ha. The dreamer and classic life that everyone wants to believe I am living.
I got tired and frustrated trying to bring the 3 lives together so that the honest picture is what is shown on the ground. Bottom line is I lost 4 years and I have to back and complete it. I do feel my peers are way ahead of me but I shan’t bother anymore keeping up with the joneses. All the promises of God in Him are yea, and in Him Amen. Therefore when your life is under or flourishing, His word still stands.
2 portions of scripture stood out for me:
Joel 2:23-26 "Be glad then, ye children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God: for he hath given you the former rain moderately, and he will cause to come down for you the rain, the former rain, and the latter rain in the first month. And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the fats shall overflow with wine and oil. And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed. And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed."
Gen 8:22 "While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and Winter, and day and night shall not cease."
The 1st one really gave me hope. That God is able to do anything and everything He says He’ll do. His promises to us shall come to pass & that He has capacity to do the impossible. Restore to you that which you lost if you are to repent and turn back to Him and seek Him.
As for the 2nd verse it’s His assurance and a covenant with creation, us, that as long as the earth is, we will have all seasons. We are to plant and expect a harvest.
So that said, I pray that those who are in the same situation may find comfort in the Lord’s word and as faith allows do what is expected of you.
I am planting, trusting God to grow and give me a harvest of what I will have cultivated and as He wills restore to me, the years I have lost. Amen!
Life through Samara’s eyes.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The Big Box
It’s amazing what one can learn from watching television. Yes. The child has totally flipped and is learning life changing lessons from TV. I sat down and asked myself why I was totally consumed and addicted to the big box. As I was thinking it through one of my friends suggested to me that it’s because we sometimes identify with the characters that are portrayed on the various programs. I am sure there are other reasons but I am going to explore this ideology.
I enjoy watching Grey’s Anatomy; Watched all 5 seasons and I am halfway through the 6th season. Which character do I identify with? Christina Yang. Her tough-competitive-get-it-done-spirit is what draws me to her. Now I am nothing like her but maybe I would love to have some of that no nonsense attitude of hers.
Other programs are: So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD), America’s Best Dance Crew (ABDC), Idolz, Project Runway etc. What I get from these shows is passion. The lengths to which people go out to achieve their dreams, whether it’s a winning a singing contract or a clothing line, they push it till they get it. PASSION.
So is it fair to watch people accomplish their own dreams while I vegetate on the couch, gain calories and get nothing done? I think not. Therefore my next mission is to watch less and less of the Big Box. I can’t entirely eradicate it, it does offer some form of entertainment but I shall dedicate more time to growth of self, giving back to society and developing my relationships with others. Life outside the big box!
Life through Samara’s eyes.
I enjoy watching Grey’s Anatomy; Watched all 5 seasons and I am halfway through the 6th season. Which character do I identify with? Christina Yang. Her tough-competitive-get-it-done-spirit is what draws me to her. Now I am nothing like her but maybe I would love to have some of that no nonsense attitude of hers.
Other programs are: So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD), America’s Best Dance Crew (ABDC), Idolz, Project Runway etc. What I get from these shows is passion. The lengths to which people go out to achieve their dreams, whether it’s a winning a singing contract or a clothing line, they push it till they get it. PASSION.
So is it fair to watch people accomplish their own dreams while I vegetate on the couch, gain calories and get nothing done? I think not. Therefore my next mission is to watch less and less of the Big Box. I can’t entirely eradicate it, it does offer some form of entertainment but I shall dedicate more time to growth of self, giving back to society and developing my relationships with others. Life outside the big box!
Life through Samara’s eyes.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Mel Phleg
In the recent years I have became exposed to the knowledge of temperaments. The strength and weaknesses of each and after doing a million and one tests realized I can categorically place myself as a Melancholic (primary temperament) and phlegmatic (the secondary temperament). Where I’m I going with this story? I was trying to understand why I can never really get stuff done. I am very keen on planning and putting up structures but then my flip side will wake up and say, I will do this tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes; that’s like a no brainer.
Melancholics are considered very analytical people and this helps when I plan things but procrastination is a trait found across the temperaments due to a few reasons. The choleric will procrastinate if he can’t control the situation, the sanguine if he terms the task mundane, the melancholic due to perfectionist tendencies and the phlegmatic just because of laziness. Based on the above, I procrastinate due to the last two reasons. A friend of mine told me the best way is to concentrate on the task at hand and complete it blocking out all negativity to not complete it.
The good book says in Ecclesiastes 3: 1 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven". Temperaments are to help us understand our weakness and strengths to become better people by using our strengths wisely and learning to handle our weaknesses not making excuses because of them.
It doesn’t matter whether you feel lazy,trying to perfect it, can’t control it or the task is mundane; is it its season to be done? Then it’s got to be done!
Ref: http://personal-work-habits.suite101.com/article.cfm/procrastinaion_and_personality
Melancholics are considered very analytical people and this helps when I plan things but procrastination is a trait found across the temperaments due to a few reasons. The choleric will procrastinate if he can’t control the situation, the sanguine if he terms the task mundane, the melancholic due to perfectionist tendencies and the phlegmatic just because of laziness. Based on the above, I procrastinate due to the last two reasons. A friend of mine told me the best way is to concentrate on the task at hand and complete it blocking out all negativity to not complete it.
The good book says in Ecclesiastes 3: 1 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven". Temperaments are to help us understand our weakness and strengths to become better people by using our strengths wisely and learning to handle our weaknesses not making excuses because of them.
It doesn’t matter whether you feel lazy,trying to perfect it, can’t control it or the task is mundane; is it its season to be done? Then it’s got to be done!
Ref: http://personal-work-habits.suite101.com/article.cfm/procrastinaion_and_personality
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The Power of More Than One.
Life group! The first time I had of this term I thought of a group of recovering addicts; addicted to alcohol or drugs. I realized I am no better. I have my own forms of addictions and erratic behaviour. Hence I am in a life group.
Eccl 4:9-12
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevails against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Life through Samara’s eyes.
- My addiction: Prone to doing the wrong and unbeneficial thing in & for my life.
- Members: Fellow believers in our Lord Jesus.
- Goal: To become a fearless influencer of society and to live a life of purpose; Holy and pleasing to God. Living a Spirit controlled life.
- To wake up everyday at 6.p.m.(I know people wake up earlier but I am not a morning person so this is achievement enough).
- To lose 10kg by mid June Reasons:
Reasons:
a. Be able to organize my mornings to and have an early start to the day.
b. Reach work early & curb the habit of strolling in late.
c. To utilize time and opportunity wisely as a good steward of God’s providence. Being able to have a steady Q.T. before I start the day.
a. To get lighter on the feet for dance & perhaps get in shape to compete in the annual salsa competition.
b. To maintain a healthy weight & lifestyle.
Eccl 4:9-12
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevails against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Life through Samara’s eyes.
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